About da_directioner39 : Sorry about the misleading username. Truth is, I hate One Direction.
Hello. I am a girl (duh), and you will learn that I fail at humor.
I love videogames. Assassin's Creed, Halo, God of War, Fallout, etc., but I can't say I love Call Of Duty.
My favorite class on Team Fortress 2 is the Soldier. I have the Orange Box, but I have played the PC version. Sadly, I can go on the interwebs only by cell phone.
I will update this soon.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15110) - you deserved it (1376)
On 07/28/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by em from Cali - United States (California)
Today, while in the store with my kids, they wanted to buy tampons because I am "getting cranky, and it should be that time of the month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7154) - you deserved it (11877)
On 07/28/2012 at 12:17am - kids - by love_to_live - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while in the store with my kids, they wanted to buy tampons because I am "getting cranky, and it should be that time of the month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7154) - you deserved it (11877)
On 07/28/2012 at 12:17am - kids - by love_to_live - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14204) - you deserved it (1571)
On 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Midlothian)
Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16120) - you deserved it (2154)
On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19532) - you deserved it (2366)
On 07/26/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Just Me (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12866) - you deserved it (1636)
On 07/21/2012 at 11:58pm - animals - by summerbabe77 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16019) - you deserved it (2210)
On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14086) - you deserved it (3755)
On 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by dogmom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32752) - you deserved it (1260)
On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent my entire paycheck on a new summer wardrobe. I then left my shopping bags on the train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11517) - you deserved it (23177)
On 07/11/2012 at 8:02pm - money - by Ashley - United States (New York)
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10570) - you deserved it (20877)
On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)
Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15101) - you deserved it (4283)
On 07/08/2012 at 5:47am - animals - by scorpionsurviver - United States
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23863) - you deserved it (2632)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35073) - you deserved it (3725)
On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Monday 17 June 2013
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