About da_directioner39 : Sorry about the misleading username. Truth is, I hate One Direction.
Hello. I am a girl (duh), and you will learn that I fail at humor.
I love videogames. Assassin's Creed, Halo, God of War, Fallout, etc., but I can't say I love Call Of Duty.
My favorite class on Team Fortress 2 is the Soldier. I have the Orange Box, but I have played the PC version. Sadly, I can go on the interwebs only by cell phone.
I will update this soon.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (1343)
On 03/14/2013 at 4:52am - money - by ScrewedForCheapBag - United States (California)
Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8566) - you deserved it (44464)
On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44954) - you deserved it (6980)
On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (1936)
On 01/31/2013 at 4:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (28943)
On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29246) - you deserved it (1571)
On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States
Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23255) - you deserved it (1568)
On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)
Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (1084)
On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (3628)
On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34688) - you deserved it (3777)
Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22210) - you deserved it (2657)
On 01/13/2013 at 2:24am - love - by LilRedRiding_27 - United States (California)
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23675) - you deserved it (5686)
On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (6234)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (2576)
On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64157) - you deserved it (15789)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Monday 20 May 2013
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