Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

da_directioner39

Search for a member

da_directioner39
  • Town/Country : 'Murica
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 417
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About da_directioner39 : Sorry about the misleading username. Truth is, I hate One Direction.

Hello. I am a girl (duh), and you will learn that I fail at humor.

I love videogames. Assassin's Creed, Halo, God of War, Fallout, etc., but I can't say I love Call Of Duty.

My favorite class on Team Fortress 2 is the Soldier. I have the Orange Box, but I have played the PC version. Sadly, I can go on the interwebs only by cell phone.

I will update this soon.

da_directioner39's last visitors

jackson38amazinggurl94ScenicSubterfugejaffvisTnglatzLesmisfanaticVirgiliuswaterboy14MarmarfarfarJessibear_16

da_directioner39's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of da_directioner39's badges

da_directioner39's favorite FMLs

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24243) - you deserved it (4211)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23554) - you deserved it (2064)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (7750)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33988) - you deserved it (2491)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (1893)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (6768)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37425) - you deserved it (3877)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43391) - you deserved it (11567)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42017) - you deserved it (2780)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40528) - you deserved it (2423)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (94587)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

#20609750
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46562) - you deserved it (5120)

On 04/21/2013 at 9:33am - love - by jerk_ex_boyfriend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML

#20608013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36105) - you deserved it (8335)

On 04/20/2013 at 4:22pm - money - by citylife - United States

Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML

#20586776
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35578) - you deserved it (6033)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13023) - you deserved it (27238)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: