Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

d_unsub

Search for a member

d_unsub
  • Town/Country : Cape Town, South Africa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 September 1987 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1243
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About d_unsub : I'm the type of guy that your mom warned you about

d_unsub's last visitors

AABabePsychoticAsylumhwkfan1ydi_4_sukingD495firegirl1993kayceecakesslmc94WCARloverraphanne

d_unsub's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of d_unsub's badges

d_unsub's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML

#17173696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34237) - you deserved it (2299)

On 07/19/2011 at 3:40am - intimacy - by ken - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (5802)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44001) - you deserved it (3610)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54323) - you deserved it (4978)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51999) - you deserved it (5654)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (5973)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68552) - you deserved it (4953)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

#16508942
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54697) - you deserved it (2833)

On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (48214)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32073) - you deserved it (9439)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (54853)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
770 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57595) - you deserved it (10127)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16113) - you deserved it (51311)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40476) - you deserved it (10806)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38952) - you deserved it (7129)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by