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Offline (the 01/04/2016 at 10:28pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 September 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5272
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About d_unsub : I'm the type of guy that your mom warned you about

d_unsub's page activity

Visits<b>BoboCracker</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 5:47pm<b>ScarletSarah</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:24pm<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:22pm<b>kaylizs</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:01pm<b>PolarBears54</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:28am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:59am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:12am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:46am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:16pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:54am<b>amcg</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 10:35am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:54am<b>woainishamu</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 9:25pm<b>thandidavis</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:28pm<b>ashley12356</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:10pm<b>AABabe</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 10:19am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm<b>hwkfan1</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 6:12pm

d_unsub's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


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d_unsub's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

by preggers / 11/30/2011 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

by Person15 / 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

by notgoodenough / 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

by 14YearOld / 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML

by Anon / 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm / United States / Love

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm / United States / Love

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

by TTR / 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

by Henry / 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

by Luke / 11/07/2011 at 9:53am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML

by DrakeScott / 11/02/2011 at 2:14pm / United States (Maine) / Love