About d_unsub : I'm the type of guy that your mom warned you about
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Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (2352)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (3030)
On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30673) - you deserved it (7021)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (7206)
On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30591) - you deserved it (6438)
On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27969) - you deserved it (5324)
On 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by 14YearOld (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9374) - you deserved it (42334)
Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9085) - you deserved it (30112)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anon - United States
Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28050) - you deserved it (8714)
On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (5400)
On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12518) - you deserved it (39420)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (5460)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8688) - you deserved it (27818)
On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9667) - you deserved it (28744)
On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13101) - you deserved it (26957)
On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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