About d_unsub : I'm the type of guy that your mom warned you about
Perfectionist
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Socialite
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Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22538) - you deserved it (5278)
On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13329) - you deserved it (36899)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28664) - you deserved it (1922)
On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8308) - you deserved it (42529)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you deserved it (4852)
Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19627) - you deserved it (1971)
On 02/07/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by courtneynaked (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24949) - you deserved it (6490)
On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12734) - you deserved it (3134)
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45095) - you deserved it (2324)
On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (42338)
On 01/30/2012 at 12:37am - love - by givingup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11932) - you deserved it (30245)
On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27621) - you deserved it (2158)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (1796)
On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34373) - you deserved it (2515)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20369) - you deserved it (2455) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 17 June 2013
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