Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

d_unsub

Offline (the 03/20/2014 at 8:39am) | Search for a member

d_unsub

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 September 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3088
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About d_unsub : I'm the type of guy that your mom warned you about

d_unsub's page activity

Visits<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:12am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:46am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:16pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:54am<b>amcg</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 10:35am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:54am<b>woainishamu</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 9:25pm<b>thandidavis</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:28pm<b>ashley12356</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:10pm<b>AABabe</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 10:19am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm<b>hwkfan1</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 6:12pm<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 6:53pm<b>D495</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 11:42pm<b>firegirl1993</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 7:13pm<b>kayceecakess</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 1:01pm<b>hastyheat</b> - the 09/23/2012 at 7:52pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/04/2012 at 1:13am

d_unsub's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of d_unsub's badges

d_unsub's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16948) - you deserved it (44050)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35731) - you deserved it (2711)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

#19039187
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (6589)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Jarryd - Australia

Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML

#19016945
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25799) - you deserved it (2856)

On 02/07/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by courtneynaked (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31034) - you deserved it (7238)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17304) - you deserved it (21853)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

#18976256
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53460) - you deserved it (3284)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML

#18949271
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31522) - you deserved it (56607)

On 01/30/2012 at 12:37am - love - by givingup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14910) - you deserved it (41302)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33553) - you deserved it (3038)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41277) - you deserved it (3379)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27210) - you deserved it (3397) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39747) - you deserved it (3079)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: