d_unsub

Search for a member

Offline (the 01/04/2016 at 10:28pm)

d_unsub

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 September 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5469
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About d_unsub : I'm the type of guy that your mom warned you about

d_unsub's page activity

Visits<b>BoboCracker</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 5:47pm<b>ScarletSarah</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:24pm<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:22pm<b>kaylizs</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:01pm<b>PolarBears54</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:28am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:59am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:12am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:46am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:16pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:54am<b>amcg</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 10:35am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:54am<b>woainishamu</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 9:25pm<b>thandidavis</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:28pm<b>ashley12356</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:10pm<b>AABabe</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 10:19am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm<b>hwkfan1</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 6:12pm

d_unsub's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of d_unsub's badges

d_unsub's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

by thewhompingwillow / 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2012 at 6:21pm / Love

Today, my brother, the plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 8:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, after declining an amazing job offer that pays more than double what I make now in order to accept a promotion my boss offered me if I stayed, I asked when I would receive the promotion and pay raise. She snorted and said, "You thought I was serious about that?" FML

by Fackwork / 05/30/2012 at 5:37am / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

by Vero / 05/17/2012 at 11:02am / Austria (Oberosterreich) / Love

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy