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cynically

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 7:16pm) | Search for a member

cynically

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1798
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cynically : i like food and vidya gaems.

cynically's page activity

Visits<b>maaj</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:08am<b>Camwentz</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:14am<b>smileyemsen</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:19am<b>spatula232</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 7:42pm<b>_powerslave666</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:57am<b>Celeden</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 11:01pm<b>SEROKE</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 6:57pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:32pm<b>tengo</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:51pm<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 7:58pm<b>comedybreak</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:09am<b>Begiz</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:16pm<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:29pm<b>mattdwyer</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 12:47am<b>skychu</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 7:23pm<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 5:01am<b>SimplyEcks</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 6:06pm

Fucked!<b>SEROKE</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:57am

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cynically's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9326) - you deserved it (30893)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

#18071770
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31152) - you deserved it (6916)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (11890)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51910) - you deserved it (15200)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (5736)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

#16487727
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53894) - you deserved it (10228)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML

#16441244
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35148) - you deserved it (8318)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19163) - you deserved it (77721)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38635) - you deserved it (32151)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (43838)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML

#14836344
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32771) - you deserved it (7714)

On 02/04/2011 at 2:59am - intimacy - by missbrit (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50048) - you deserved it (8368)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48382) - you deserved it (5705)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

#14699033
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33263) - you deserved it (9442)

On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML

#14448296
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35078) - you deserved it (4405)

On 01/03/2011 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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