About cynically : i like food and vidya gaems.
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cynically's favorite FMLs
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work
by beccav23 / 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm / United States / Intimacy
by grant b / 06/09/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm / Brazil / Geek
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML
by missbrit / 02/04/2011 at 2:59am / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
by anon / 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
by Scaredwitless / 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Limalia / 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/03/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs,… Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's… Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died.…