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cynically

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 7:16pm) | Search for a member

cynically

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1485
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cynically : i like food and vidya gaems.

cynically's page activity

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cynically's favorite FMLs

2day I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on mah knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9301) - you deserved it (30772)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO VICIOUSLY RIP OFF MAH THONG. MY ASS CRACK IS NUMB. FML

#18071770
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31011) - you deserved it (6905)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work outhere my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, u idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass an a map or something. mega FML

#17847323
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35958) - you deserved it (11862)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, mah boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. mega FML

#17107547
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50322) - you deserved it (14841)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today my boss askd if e could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30705) - you deserved it (5534)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today , my fiancé nervously sat me down fir a ( serious cat ). Te cat wound up wit im asking if we could postpone our wedding , because is World of Warcraft guild ad a raid sceduled fir te same day. FML

#16487727
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51296) - you deserved it (9905)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, My Boyfriend Refusd To Take Me Out On Our Tree Year Anniversary Because E Was Busy, "training To Become A Professional Gamer." FML

#16441244
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32433) - you deserved it (7976)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

TODAY, MAH GRLFRIEND HID MAH CAR KEYS AN DECIDD THAT SHE WOULDN'T GIVE THEM BACK UNTIL I SUCCEEDD IN GIVING HER AN ORGASM!! MEGA FML

#15689615
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17892) - you deserved it (75218)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38496) - you deserved it (32100)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today , I was going down on mah girlfriend. I thought everything was going well , then all of a looool sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION , CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22406) - you deserved it (42871)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today , boyfriend got a new rifle. He forcd me to watch him stripping it , oiling it , and sliding thing into its barrel. We then watchd 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endurd 4 hours of gun porn. FML

#14836344
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30469) - you deserved it (7388)

On 02/04/2011 at 2:59am - intimacy - by missbrit (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post an a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47825) - you deserved it (8128)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... mah roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door an lying motionless in a bathtub full of water an red coloring. When I went... horrified... to take a closer look... he lunged at me an screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47071) - you deserved it (5601)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one week after mah grlfriend berated me fir being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her!! Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, a ring!" FML

#14699033
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33123) - you deserved it (9426)

On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the looool living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said ( right now? ) FML

#14448296
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (4394)

On 01/03/2011 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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