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Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36710) - you deserved it (2910)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36710) - you deserved it (2910)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML
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On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (7151)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32743) - you deserved it (1260)
On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24897) - you deserved it (3452)
Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14392) - you deserved it (4413)
On 06/28/2012 at 1:20am - animals - by lala8940 - United States
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16567) - you deserved it (4291)
On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2884)
Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (5462)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47966) - you deserved it (3722)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15248) - you deserved it (2283)
On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24545) - you deserved it (4079)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)
Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43970) - you deserved it (7853)
On 06/03/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26757) - you deserved it (6325)
On 05/31/2011 at 8:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil
Monday 17 June 2013
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