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cylque

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cylque
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  • Number of visits : 1127
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cylque's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40330) - you deserved it (17155)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

#3730184
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44394) - you deserved it (12971)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML

#3475605
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (8994)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by Peta2nNoMore (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248090) - you deserved it (14289)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20893) - you deserved it (80254)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML

#1072377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72097) - you deserved it (3480)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML

#956665
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26856) - you deserved it (50640)

On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19344) - you deserved it (9484)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)



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