cylque

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cylque

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1367
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cylque's page activity

Visits<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:38pm<b>boebeltjebap</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:47am<b>MickiJ</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:37pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:48pm<b>silkee_shiny</b> - the 08/10/2009 at 4:35am<b>puhffft</b> - the 07/26/2009 at 11:43am<b>tyedyetee95</b> - the 07/08/2009 at 2:30am<b>um_duh</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 6:08pm<b>too_much_fun</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 4:12am

cylque's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cylque's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

by DanceOnTheEdge / 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

by Ouch / 07/13/2009 at 10:25pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML

by Peta2nNoMore / 07/04/2009 at 6:42am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Kids

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

by tgstreaks / 04/23/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 11:14pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML

by grem / 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm / United States / Kids

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

by FractalSanity / 02/01/2009 at 3:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love