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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
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cyberpimp

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cyberpimp
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 383
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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cyberpimp's favorite FMLs

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912 (602)

I agree, your life sucks (26595) - you deserved it (35042)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (3997)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

#12843819 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (18310) - you deserved it (6306)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:35pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (17595) - you deserved it (2027)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU". It really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (17275) - you deserved it (7686)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML

#6057828 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (3712) - you deserved it (44052)

On 10/29/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML

#5444329 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (2379)

On 09/24/2009 at 7:25am - misc - by rubber_duckie177 (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I decided to smoke in my car on the way to school. As I went to ash it out the window, one of the embers flew back into car landing in my eye. Turns out the excruciating pain was my contact lense melting to my cornea. FML

#4730383 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (12394) - you deserved it (40084)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:10am - misc - by Shootme (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML

#3335931 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (37640) - you deserved it (3110)

On 06/29/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by StillSingle (woman) - United States (California)