[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

cutebutpsycho

Search for a member

cutebutpsycho
  • Town/Country : San Francisco, California, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 January 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 3917
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cutebutpsycho : My name is Chelsea, and I'm in college. I don't really know what else to put down here.
I don't like it when people make up FMLs. It lowers the overall quality of this website (ha). No, but seriously, making up FMLs is stupid, because it means you are lonely and boring.

cutebutpsycho's last visitors

FreezeiljajlmZwischeUniquADaaniellee123422jrdn55wtfismyfmlDayumThatsHot

cutebutpsycho's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cutebutpsycho's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (29661) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML

#6326207 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (28876) - you deserved it (3770)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:12pm - love - by TLT (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

#5325654 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (13005) - you deserved it (32425)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118 (426)

I agree, your life sucks (43233) - you deserved it (14235)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML

#4034101 (413)

I agree, your life sucks (32300) - you deserved it (16739)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Mom (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

#3945236 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (49459) - you deserved it (4518)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (35224) - you deserved it (20228)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (39155) - you deserved it (13862)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

#3205233 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (51447) - you deserved it (2484)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by Emptyspace (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

#3176969 (366)

I agree, your life sucks (56018) - you deserved it (8233)

On 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by toomuchmetal (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

#3074596 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (32696) - you deserved it (11477)

On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (64287) - you deserved it (3601)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

#2874076 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (31048) - you deserved it (44093)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML

#2871893 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (36300) - you deserved it (4350)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (73327) - you deserved it (13618)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)