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About cutebutpsycho : My name is Chelsea, and I'm in college. I don't really know what else to put down here.
I don't like it when people make up FMLs. It lowers the overall quality of this website (ha). No, but seriously, making up FMLs is stupid, because it means you are lonely and boring.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Taday I lerened explosive diarrhea is real !! I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket !! 10 feet in.!! !! liquid poo started spewing down mah pants legs !! 150 feet to go !! I ran !! It ran !! They watched !! After 15 minutes of cleaning.!! !! I slunk out !! Now.!! !! I have to fine a new market.!! !! maybe a new town !! FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelld wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filld with flower petals rippd from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. mega FML
yesterday I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs an pink bedding to go with mah babby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up fir it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late 4 morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. real FML
Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed fir shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML
Today... I was in lina at a chackout. I hava quita a faw facial piarcings and 1/2" gaugas in my aars. Tha vary haavy cashiar asks how big my gaugas r and than starts talling ma about how sha racantly got har clitoris piarcad and how somatimas sha has orgasms bahind tha ragistar. FML
Today...hile walking in the mall..!! I had two people race past me inheelchairs!! Thinking they were racing..!! I started rooting fir the one guy that was ahead!! Turns out hisheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help!! He then slammed and fell into the water fountain!! FML
Today, I rode mah bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal fir turning left. A car passing the opposite way veerd towards me and attemptd to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over mah body and mah bike is in two pieces. FML
Today, as ma boyfriend and I were messing around in is room e took off ma underwear. As e was about to go down on me I spread ma legs to elp out ten e looked up at looool me and said, "You got some toilet paper left beind." FML
Today, was my senior prom. I've ad a crus on my date 4 monts, but after many attempt at grinding wit im and sexy seduction, e rejectd me saying e was a good Catolic boy. I later found out tat not only is e in touc wit is religion, but intimately in touc wit oter boys. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015