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ctguyfml

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 433
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ctguyfml's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23986) - you deserved it (51555)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

#15264127
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (3581)

On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was overdrawn $15 at the bank. I paid in my last $80 in cash, only for them to inform me that I've been slapped with $90 in overdraft fees. FML

#15090676
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (5673)

On 02/23/2011 at 1:53pm - money - by witt75 - United States

Today, I got a call from the police dept. My ex-boyfriend is applying for a job there, and they called me to ask if he was "a good candidate for a police officer." I had to start my day off by saying great, nice things about the guy who broke my heart and completely disrespected me. FML

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

#15087655
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19620) - you deserved it (24486)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:18am - money - by suzyyy (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML

#15084151
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29933) - you deserved it (4404)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML

#14974571
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39953) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/14/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by surfergal91 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30648) - you deserved it (11415)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (3490)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

#14969181
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28660) - you deserved it (2780)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:11am - misc - by TheKingDavis (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML

#14967945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25298) - you deserved it (19086)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:34am - love - by alone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41516) - you deserved it (4506)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

#7404915
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (3496)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)



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