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Today... I got a call from the police dept. My ex-boyfriend is applying 4 a job there... an they calld me to ask if he was "a good candidate 4 a police officer." I had to start my day off by saying great... nice things about the guyho broke my heart an completely disrespectd me. FML
today I rummagd around in the attic, looking 4 old pictures of me an my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, an how he wantd to leave my mother more an more every day that passd since I was born. FML
Today, I Was Working As An Intern At A Day Care. One Of The Kids Touchd My Chest A Couple Of Times, An I Jokingly Told Him That He Shouldn't Touch Old An Ugly Women Like Me. So He Startd Groping The Little Girls Instead. When The Other Teachers Askd Himhy, He Said I Had Told Him To. Fat FML
Today, I went out fir pizza with mah boyfriend. looool He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML
yesterday after dealing with tons of drama an working a 14 hour shift I took a shower. When I stepped out a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid which fell into the tank an broke it. Now looool my leg hurts an the bathroom's flooded. mega FML
Yesterday, my new girlfriend, with whom I have had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said ( This one is my favorite ) now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
Today, wile babysitting a six year old boy, e askd me if I could sow im ma "boobies." I said no, tat wouldn't be very appropriate . Suddenly, e pulld down is pants/undie an pointd to is package wile exclaiming, "Look, ma penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me . real FML
Friday 27 March 2015