About cswens25 : Just an ordinary, totally unique conformist. A little misguided but shit, c'est le vie.
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cswens25's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
by guy / 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML
by artdegreemyass / 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML
by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was working my shift at the store, my girlfriend appeared and asked to talk to me. Once we were alone, she burst into tears and started sobbing. Turns out someone's dad died in her favorite TV show and she wanted some comfort. FML
by Mitch / 07/19/2012 at 1:36pm / Puerto Rico / Love
by ThatGirl / 07/19/2012 at 11:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Awkward / 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
by FOXYgrandpa441 / 07/18/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (Wyoming) / Work
by News-print Face Kate / 07/18/2012 at 12:37pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML
by Anonymous / 07/18/2012 at 4:57am / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Work
Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML
by TimeForACareerChange / 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
- Today, I realized that I shower just about 3 times a day just to get away from my horrible family.… Today, after coming home from working two jobs, I find that my unemployed sister-in-law has trashed… Today, we were pulling up to KFC when my mom asked what I would want. I said I wanted a breast, to…