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csi13's favorite FMLs
by chlolivia / 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
by kingpig / 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
by elisimo / 01/24/2012 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by sosadbuttrue / 01/14/2012 at 8:15am / Switzerland (Glarus) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 7:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
by mjbx / 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Love
by emmmbo / 12/19/2011 at 10:40am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by newlysingle / 12/14/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Love
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML
by boopadoop / 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Oops / 09/26/2011 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy
by Cantgetno / 09/20/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
- Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of…