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Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44976) - you deserved it (2321)
On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13881) - you deserved it (26470)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11753) - you deserved it (15558)
On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)
Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44461) - you deserved it (3852)
On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (10236)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42818) - you deserved it (3760)
On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45050) - you deserved it (2295)
On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35790) - you deserved it (3758)
On 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by boopadoop - United States
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25332) - you deserved it (10752)
On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30530) - you deserved it (5186)
On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42549) - you deserved it (4471)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47870) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28994) - you deserved it (16911)
On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (18667)
On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12558) - you deserved it (38898)
On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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