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Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as a buffer against any romantic advances. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (2175)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (1997)
On 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm - love - by ohbiebjetaime (woman) - France
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19003) - you deserved it (1851)
On 06/28/2012 at 12:51am - love - by TheAngryBird - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (23884)
On 06/18/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States
Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11965) - you deserved it (28976)
On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)
Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (2131)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:27am - misc - by KenzFell (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18973) - you deserved it (1873)
On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25711) - you deserved it (6312)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37220) - you deserved it (3020)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16067) - you deserved it (2359)
On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19892) - you deserved it (1515)
On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)
Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22591) - you deserved it (2083)
On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10083) - you deserved it (29249)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4682) - you deserved it (63788)
On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (6240)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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