Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

csi13

Search for a member

csi13

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 727
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About csi13 : I'm me

csi13's page activity

Visits<b>Sp1k3FML</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:22pm<b>10000th</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:05am<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 4:20pm<b>smile_4ever</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 2:22pm<b>coolwithin</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 11:55am<b>lhaag23</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 9:26pm<b>lovehoran</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 9:24pm<b>xs4u</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 9:47pm<b>canadiangirl1607</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 7:40pm<b>pmac1345</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 10:57pm<b>otoniel</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 10:23pm<b>justin1394</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:03pm<b>Morqan_Freeman</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 11:42am<b>melbournearsenal</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 8:28am<b>neeena94</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:55am<b>gmian</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:48am<b>rainbowmeteor</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:12am<b>80zChyld</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:06am

csi13's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of csi13's badges

csi13's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60920) - you deserved it (13811)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63644) - you deserved it (14007)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32940) - you deserved it (50829) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61509) - you deserved it (5382)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37835) - you deserved it (6049)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

#20513755
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28325) - you deserved it (5509)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52694) - you deserved it (3416)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58151) - you deserved it (3530)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23293) - you deserved it (36050)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (48106)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60003) - you deserved it (6913)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

#20434472
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37809) - you deserved it (3572)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80171) - you deserved it (24600)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38820) - you deserved it (2699)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: