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csi13's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 3:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
by themouseman1212 / 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy
by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by katwingz / 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
by Master Debater / 02/01/2013 at 6:05am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
by shattysituation / 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Work
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy
by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
- Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I… Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when… Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce…
- Today, I had to say goodbye to my long distance boyfriend at the airport. I was feeling upset after… Today, while looking for pants to fit over my cast from a broken leg the drawer of my dresser flew… Today,my little brother invited all ten of his "closest" friends over while our mother was away. I…