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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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cristy91

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cristy91
  • Town/Country : Miami, U.S.A.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 April 1985 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 12728
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About cristy91 : Science gets me hot

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cristy91's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML

#15562306 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (2343)

On 03/30/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anon_a_mouse (man) - Reserved

Today, while at the mall I opened a bathroom stall thinking nobody was in there. The door just didn't close properly. I hit an elderly woman in the head. FML

#15464639 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (15703) - you deserved it (7259)

On 03/24/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by FckMyLife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080 (320)

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (7880)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML

#15447390 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (9989) - you deserved it (2739)

On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -

Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML

#15442986 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (2634)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by anon -

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

#15431141 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (9792) - you deserved it (33210)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

#15416169 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (27974) - you deserved it (2034)

On 03/21/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

#15412642 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (2914)

On 03/21/2011 at 6:57am - health - by anti-drugs - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML

#15410065 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (25128) - you deserved it (2690)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:02am - love - by lily389 -

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (5239)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

#15401902 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (12458) - you deserved it (7188)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:32pm - misc - by thebravelittletoaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (37195) - you deserved it (2786)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

#15392529 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (25223) - you deserved it (6951)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by embarassed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

#15391522 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (31866) - you deserved it (3464)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML

#15377390 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (27292) - you deserved it (1817)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by anonymous - United States