Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cristy91

Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member

cristy91

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15133
  • Number of comments : 332
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About cristy91 : Hello! My name is Cristina and I am from the US but am currently living in Germany. I plan on pursuing my doctorate in chemistry when I return back to the states and will (hopefully) end up either working in environmental policy or as a university professor, depending on which university I can get in to. If you would like to have a conversation then please do so, but be warned, I go on the site sporadically so I may not respond in a timely fashion to such requests. Have a wonderful day!

*Not to sound bitchy but please do not hit on me or make sexual comments to me. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. Thanks!*

cristy91's page activity

Visits<b>Jake_Street_8</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 7:40am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:16pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:55am<b>byattwain</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:32pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 12:20am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 12:23am<b>LordGoober</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:09pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:31pm<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:27pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:20pm<b>Valdrek</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Phaeno</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:40pm<b>kunal222</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:28pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:21pm<b>totallytaco</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:13pm<b>jagma</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:38pm<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:50am

Liked!<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:19am<b>kunal222</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:28pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:11am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 1:15am

cristy91's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cristy91's badges

cristy91's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28365) - you deserved it (6129)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

#15296523
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42982) - you deserved it (2725)

On 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by aldfgadfklbg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12595) - you deserved it (67317)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31616) - you deserved it (2842)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

#15281927
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14216) - you deserved it (29281)

On 03/12/2011 at 5:53am - misc - by Nerrh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41722) - you deserved it (3350)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

#15275510
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (6576)

On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

#15274441
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12912) - you deserved it (23975)

On 03/11/2011 at 11:05am - work - by scaredofbozo -

Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML

#15273701
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (4425)

On 03/11/2011 at 9:11am - health - by Pain_intolerant - Canada

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59119) - you deserved it (30758)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (110011)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30058) - you deserved it (74781)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45240) - you deserved it (11155)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34229) - you deserved it (255920)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: