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cristy91

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cristy91
  • Town/Country : Miami, U.S.A.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14717
  • Number of comments : 319
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About cristy91 : PhD in the making, focusing my studies on organic chemistry. Hopefully I can end up being a professor at a cozy university, helping young minds discover that science is akin to poetry in beauty and eloquence. Please message me if you'd like to have a conversation! It's sometimes surprising how much two distant strangers can have in common

*I don't want to sound bitchy but please don't write sexual things to me, It makes me feel super uncomfortable and it's disrespectful to the relationship I'm in*

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cristy91's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (4419)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

#15296523
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37837) - you deserved it (2124)

On 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by aldfgadfklbg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10496) - you deserved it (53719)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (2177)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

#15281927
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13470) - you deserved it (28244)

On 03/12/2011 at 5:53am - misc - by Nerrh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40206) - you deserved it (3238)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

#15275510
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24216) - you deserved it (6271)

On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up screaming after a nightmare about clowns, which wouldn't be too bad if I hadn't been surrounded by coworkers. FML

#15274441
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12144) - you deserved it (22618)

On 03/11/2011 at 11:05am - work - by scaredofbozo -

Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML

#15273701
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20178) - you deserved it (4044)

On 03/11/2011 at 9:11am - health - by Pain_intolerant - Canada

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57474) - you deserved it (30023)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22837) - you deserved it (105450)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28744) - you deserved it (72682)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39311) - you deserved it (8763)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
855 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28373) - you deserved it (238508)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)



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