This member hasn't filled in their description.
criss90's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
criss90's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by look how totally not racist I am! / 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by MaddyN / 07/08/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by carebear1228 / 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia / Health
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. / 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML
by fuckmyjob / 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML
by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
by Cuntlette / 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML
by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by tired individual / 01/12/2014 at 6:04am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML
by -_-" / 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it… Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I… Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and…
- Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…