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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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crispywebb

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crispywebb
  • Town/Country : Portland, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 March 1988 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 245
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crispywebb's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiance picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML

#8891983 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (13238) - you deserved it (3828)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:25pm - love - by ohshit (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML

#8742158 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (18140) - you deserved it (6204)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:53am - love - by Delilah (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

#8658890 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (7925) - you deserved it (26088)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

#8658617 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (11209) - you deserved it (2130)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML

#8643603 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (18311) - you deserved it (4353)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by ryan and Zack - United States (Michigan)

Today, a friend of mine commented that I "have a lot of confidence for a fat girl". Ummm... thanks? FML

#8623165 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (18061) - you deserved it (2637)

On 02/24/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by Jill - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

#8590174 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (25720) - you deserved it (1872)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:36pm - misc - by Kay (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (16243) - you deserved it (1969)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

#8472938 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (6993) - you deserved it (22879)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (12738) - you deserved it (2845)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (1991)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML

#8432968 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (17646) - you deserved it (3294)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

#8402650 (486)

I agree, your life sucks (27440) - you deserved it (1723)

On 02/18/2010 at 8:20am - love - by merse - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at work and talking to my boss. Out of habit, I tried to adjust my bra strap and pull it up. My hand slipped off the strap and I punched myself in the face resulting in a fat lip. My boss snorted. He told everyone. FML

#8389533 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (11248) - you deserved it (6430)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:18pm - work - by E (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

#8361510 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (27664) - you deserved it (2093)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)