criminalmind

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criminalmind

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 March 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14213
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About criminalmind : I'm either on FML, playing Fallout: New Vegas or watching porn

criminalmind's page activity

Visits<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 8:36am<b>Ainarr</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:59pm<b>saf99me</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:30pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:09am<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:48pm<b>melons</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 5:19pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 9:09pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:39pm<b>kaengle</b> - the 08/13/2011 at 3:51pm<b>Amrel</b> - the 08/09/2011 at 12:56pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 07/28/2011 at 10:11pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 1:04am<b>ispeakmamind</b> - the 05/06/2011 at 12:21am<b>elysium_lit</b> - the 04/29/2011 at 9:57am<b>KitKaitSixx</b> - the 04/15/2011 at 2:05am<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:05pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 12/23/2010 at 10:55pm<b>perdix</b> - the 09/25/2010 at 10:45am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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criminalmind's favorite FMLs

Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML

by mperh / 05/28/2011 at 8:46am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

by valerie / 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 10:00am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

by Derp-A-Herp / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

by Alice / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML

by nrelavender / 05/25/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

by asnolt / 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

by LimeyGoodteeth / 05/24/2011 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

by 11lyss1 / 05/23/2011 at 12:26am / Work

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

by lemonhead / 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm / Health

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

by esoog / 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

by thoughtitwasspecial / 05/18/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy