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criminalmind

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criminalmind
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 March 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 6928
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About criminalmind : I'm either on FML, playing Fallout: New Vegas or watching porn

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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criminalmind's favorite FMLs

Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML

#16384217
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32391) - you deserved it (2208)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:46am - misc - by mperh - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

#16378001
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35566) - you deserved it (16035)

On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

#16370562
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (3539)

On 05/27/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

#16367949
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6159) - you deserved it (37410)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - love - by Derp-A-Herp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31476) - you deserved it (2623)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML

#16350161
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40387) - you deserved it (8339)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:48pm - animals - by nrelavender - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45794) - you deserved it (6807)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

#16307240
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (2824)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:26am - work - by 11lyss1 -

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19649) - you deserved it (40017)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66065) - you deserved it (3343)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

#16252216
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12031) - you deserved it (41817)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10450) - you deserved it (61188)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

#16233240
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22719) - you deserved it (18273)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:15am - intimacy - by thoughtitwasspecial (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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