criminalmind

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criminalmind

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 March 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13345
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About criminalmind : I'm either on FML, playing Fallout: New Vegas or watching porn

criminalmind's page activity

Visits<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 8:36am<b>Ainarr</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 6:59pm<b>saf99me</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:30pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:09am<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:48pm<b>melons</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 5:19pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 9:09pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:39pm<b>kaengle</b> - the 08/13/2011 at 3:51pm<b>Amrel</b> - the 08/09/2011 at 12:56pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 07/28/2011 at 10:11pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 1:04am<b>ispeakmamind</b> - the 05/06/2011 at 12:21am<b>elysium_lit</b> - the 04/29/2011 at 9:57am<b>KitKaitSixx</b> - the 04/15/2011 at 2:05am<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:05pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 12/23/2010 at 10:55pm<b>perdix</b> - the 09/25/2010 at 10:45am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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criminalmind's favorite FMLs

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

by ilovedirt / 07/09/2011 at 11:12pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She is 16. FML

by anon / 07/09/2011 at 12:48am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

by Unknown / 07/07/2011 at 11:12am / United States (Missouri) / Holidays

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

by Snurkles / 07/07/2011 at 8:19am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

by shit / 07/07/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Kids

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

by devilboy / 07/06/2011 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

by IAmACoolCat / 07/05/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

by Jessie / 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML

by omfgfmlife / 07/05/2011 at 10:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

by chawlay / 07/05/2011 at 10:04am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

by oopsies / 07/04/2011 at 5:11am / United States / Animals

Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair being slammed across my back like on the wrestling shows. I guess he didn't know that the shows are fake. FML

by drunkinriot / 07/03/2011 at 7:04pm / United States / Health

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

by Hum / 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Money