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criminalmind

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criminalmind
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 March 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 6946
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About criminalmind : I'm either on FML, playing Fallout: New Vegas or watching porn

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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criminalmind's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

#17112659
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (4225)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by gross - Canada

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18198) - you deserved it (44714)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (86361)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66658) - you deserved it (6942)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66658) - you deserved it (6942)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

#17080368
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (11500)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Anonanon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

#17069716
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30243) - you deserved it (5011)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:23pm - misc - by Username - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML

#17061004
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (7978)

On 07/11/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after spending 6 months and $15,000 on lawyer fees at my 13 year old son's request, his abusive, alcoholic father no longer has any legal right to see him. How did my son repay me? He ran away to live with his father the very first time I told him he couldn't have friends sleep over. FML

#17057009
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40000) - you deserved it (6835)

On 07/10/2011 at 8:01pm - kids - by tomcat69 - Canada (Ontario)



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