About criminalmind : I'm either on FML, playing Fallout: New Vegas or watching porn
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Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (6462)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44862) - you deserved it (4970)
On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (2300)
On 07/19/2011 at 3:40am - intimacy - by ken - Canada (Alberta)
Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23300) - you deserved it (3029)
On 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Fairymyass (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23300) - you deserved it (3029)
On 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Fairymyass (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23300) - you deserved it (3029)
On 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Fairymyass (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32403) - you deserved it (2007)
On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32403) - you deserved it (2007)
On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (14321)
On 07/17/2011 at 4:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (6559)
On 07/17/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by grenade (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30254) - you deserved it (6518)
On 07/17/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by it_IS_just_me (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28615) - you deserved it (6421)
On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11502) - you deserved it (46628)
On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11502) - you deserved it (46628)
On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11502) - you deserved it (46628)
On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Friday 24 May 2013
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