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creepycreek's favorite FMLs
Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML
by wowimscrewed / 04/14/2011 at 12:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2011 at 9:06pm / United Kingdom / Health
by FrOsTy25 / 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by Hanna / 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by lovely321 / 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by gRRRrr / 04/01/2011 at 1:35pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2011 at 12:32am / United States / Love
Today, on my 21st birthday, a relative asked me if I was still engaged to the love of my life. The man I spent several years with, gave my virginity to, moved across the country for, who promised to marry me before my 21st, and who swore he was over his ex for good. No, but thanks for asking. FML
by Anonymous / 03/30/2011 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
by kingpin7 / 03/30/2011 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by Johntheladdo / 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Megara / 03/15/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2011 at 12:49am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 3:17pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I was in a taxi in Mexico. The driver got fed up with the traffic and decided to cross the… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…