About crazymase : MUSIC AND GUITARS!!!!!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57486) - you deserved it (7513)
On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (48788)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13223) - you deserved it (52618)
On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62274) - you deserved it (11632)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62258) - you deserved it (20226)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (229027)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66219) - you deserved it (179876)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63509) - you deserved it (16089)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73168) - you deserved it (24460)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23554) - you deserved it (85322)
On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527726) - you deserved it (320138)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (74739)
On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (74739)
On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32969) - you deserved it (383508)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (126578) - you deserved it (3742)
On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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