About crazymase : MUSIC AND GUITARS!!!!!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35493) - you deserved it (7642)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)
Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15227) - you deserved it (7479)
On 09/16/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by sweatstreaks - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28904) - you deserved it (3360)
On 06/27/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by Courtney (woman) - United States (Missouri)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (24882)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (2583)
On 02/27/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14636) - you deserved it (2646)
On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (15870) - you deserved it (27899)
On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (2916)
On 09/20/2010 at 5:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (7587)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6164) - you deserved it (40873)
On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)
Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (2469)
On 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm - animals - by Whateversz (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13549) - you deserved it (52565)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83469) - you deserved it (4750)
On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31654) - you deserved it (7554)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23917) - you deserved it (2699)
On 06/27/2010 at 3:43am - work - by Daniel - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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