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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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crazyjack

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crazyjack
  • Town/Country : Wangen, Germany
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 September 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 15746
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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crazyjack's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (8982) - you deserved it (618)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770 (316)

I agree, your life sucks (27683) - you deserved it (2462)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (14893) - you deserved it (1973)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (6869) - you deserved it (34677)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly began sucking on a marker. He jokingly told me it was sexy, so I continued while making obscene gestures and moans. Suddenly he began to look nervous. I turned around to see my dad looking at me, disgusted and confused. FML

#6451435 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (4982) - you deserved it (14263)

On 11/25/2009 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by NotSoSexy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

#6401581 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (13630) - you deserved it (2636)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to draw a d*ck on my friend's binder while he was out of the class. While perfecting the drawing I realized the class had gone quiet. Looking up I realised my teacher had been watching me. I had to stand up infront of the class and talk about the drawing. FML

#6278567 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (4083) - you deserved it (31808)

On 11/12/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by MaiB (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally filed the divorce papers I was putting off for weeks. This is my third divorce. After my first husband cheated on me, and my second husband and I learned we had VERY different views, now my third husband is cheating on me with his fiancee. I'm a marriage counselor. FML

#6267569 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (25150) - you deserved it (6980)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by akward411 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#6137228 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (16276) - you deserved it (1370)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML

#6122066 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (4696) - you deserved it (17231)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by konichiwa (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

#6108981 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (9152)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Oops (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML

#6092612 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (23746) - you deserved it (1107)

On 10/31/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

#6061136 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (16346) - you deserved it (5152)

On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

#6049453 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (28908) - you deserved it (1838)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

#6005928 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (21003) - you deserved it (1477)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)