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Today, I thought it would be funny to draw a d*ck on my friend's binder while he was out of the class. While perfecting the drawing I realized the class had gone quiet. Looking up I realised my teacher had been watching me. I had to stand up infront of the class and talk about the drawing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2569) - you totally deserved it (23739)
On 11/12/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by MaiB (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally filed the divorce papers I was putting off for weeks. This is my third divorce. After my first husband cheated on me, and my second husband and I learned we had VERY different views, now my third husband is cheating on me with his fiancee. I'm a marriage counselor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18899) - you totally deserved it (5449)
On 11/12/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by akward411 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6360) - you totally deserved it (540)
On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1523) - you totally deserved it (6398)
On 11/02/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by konichiwa (man) - United States (California)
Today I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18424) - you totally deserved it (7449)
On 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Oops (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19552) - you totally deserved it (722)
On 10/31/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12954) - you totally deserved it (4158)
On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you totally deserved it (1316)
On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you totally deserved it (1083)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10423) - you totally deserved it (2844)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31288) - you totally deserved it (4548)
On 10/23/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ashleyramsay (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21418) - you totally deserved it (1454)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:09am - love - by LonelyHeart (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was out for a nice walk and saw a man being attacked by a large crowd. Instinctively I ran to help him. I pushed one "thug" off him and that little time allowed him to escape. I later found out the man I saved had just keyed someone's car and they had intervened. Guess whose car. FML
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On 10/18/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by Helpy (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (23557) - you totally deserved it (4041)
On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19277) - you totally deserved it (2814)
