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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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crazyfuzzy

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crazyfuzzy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 252
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crazyfuzzy's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (34854) - you deserved it (6643)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566 (473)

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (864)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend who dumped me after 2 1/2 years because I got fat. The last two years I've lost 68 lbs, am happier and couldn't wait to shove that in his face. So, of course the first time he see's me I'm alone, pushing a shopping cart full of ice cream for a party later. FML

#3593405 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (4013)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:28pm - love - by WeightAMinute (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML

#3511573 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (31198) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:06pm - health - by yeasty (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

#3510795 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (48873) - you deserved it (1539)

On 07/05/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML

#3475605 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (28931) - you deserved it (6773)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by Peta2nNoMore (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

#3472091 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (42395) - you deserved it (6763)

On 07/04/2009 at 2:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stayed after hours studying in the medical library. I was the only one left, and as I was going out the glass doors leaving, I saw a person's reflection behind me. I screamed, jumped, fell into the doors smashing my head. I'd seen the reflection of a medical demonstration dummy. FML

#3228073 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (23488) - you deserved it (8111)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was texting the girl I am in love with. I was dropping hints about liking someone who I didn't know if they liked me back. Flirting a little. And just when I thought she'd say she liked me too, she said "Don't worry, if you were straight, I would definitely date you!". FML

#3186990 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (36309) - you deserved it (3340)

On 06/24/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by fml7458364838 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

#3154627 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (36624) - you deserved it (2290)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

#3146320 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (137087) - you deserved it (19620)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363080) - you deserved it (401427)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

#125499 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (67606) - you deserved it (15917)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (690)

I agree, your life sucks (342746) - you deserved it (22947)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)