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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22181) - you deserved it (2129)
On 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by vampire (woman) - United Kingdom (Wigan)
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (2584)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9971) - you deserved it (21961)
On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45451) - you deserved it (2997)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25850) - you deserved it (366)
On 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by f*cks_sake - United States (Ohio)
Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29978) - you deserved it (5536)
On 04/13/2011 at 6:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33694) - you deserved it (3033)
On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4907) - you deserved it (66449)
Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38526) - you deserved it (5132)
On 02/20/2011 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Justme (woman) - United States
Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (3275)
On 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16096) - you deserved it (1455)
On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)
Today, I spent the first day of the new year helping out at an old folks home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Earnie; an 83 year old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18613) - you deserved it (2521)
On 01/01/2011 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31944) - you deserved it (6587)
On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (3010)
On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend announced he has stopped wearing deodorant because he thinks his BO smells "manly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (1976)
On 11/26/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
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