Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

crackberryxo

Search for a member

crackberryxo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 382
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About crackberryxo : LiveProfile: LPJYKM39

crackberryxo's page activity

Visits<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 12:06am<b>TheB0a</b> - the 06/08/2011 at 11:16am

crackberryxo's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

crackberryxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

#16231154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13625) - you deserved it (46158)

On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

#16216405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44962) - you deserved it (7967)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46626) - you deserved it (16071)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

#16000939
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14867) - you deserved it (41455)

On 05/01/2011 at 4:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70689) - you deserved it (15336)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

#14671725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50839) - you deserved it (4664)

On 01/22/2011 at 8:00am - intimacy - by fmlalways - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

#14463244
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26184) - you deserved it (5632)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27484) - you deserved it (13951)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36475) - you deserved it (12973)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32901) - you deserved it (3028)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
734 comments

I agree, your life sucks (276705) - you deserved it (146615)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

#530298
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (229100) - you deserved it (15074)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137141) - you deserved it (36941)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: