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crabgass

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crabgass

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  • Number of visits : 448
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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crabgass's page activity

Visits<b>ZeldaPaulThingy</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 12:26am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 6:36pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 5:05pm<b>anywhereanytime</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 1:36pm<b>moksha</b> - the 07/14/2012 at 4:41am<b>Soup</b> - the 03/15/2011 at 11:46am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 12/25/2010 at 12:51pm<b>SquaredRectangle</b> - the 12/05/2010 at 9:34pm<b>Niaa</b> - the 12/04/2010 at 5:19am<b>oDdbOD247</b> - the 12/04/2010 at 3:55am<b>zimmiexdoll</b> - the 08/11/2010 at 11:12pm

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crabgass's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

#14183645
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25360) - you deserved it (1981)

On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

#5050946
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14797) - you deserved it (44389)

On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML

#4911322
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (48029)

On 08/29/2009 at 6:20pm - love - by zuper_duper (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70045) - you deserved it (8165)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54294) - you deserved it (27787)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20919) - you deserved it (79828)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72596) - you deserved it (15752)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24376) - you deserved it (63995)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

#5874
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9799) - you deserved it (26715)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by peneloperigby (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44323) - you deserved it (24280)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML

#22
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49694) - you deserved it (36665)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:31am - intimacy - by rmL -



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