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cparrenas

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cparrenas

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 March 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1778
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About cparrenas : Awesome.

cparrenas's page activity

Visits<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:02am<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:47pm<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:54am<b>badlukbryan22</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:27am<b>king_waldoVII</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 4:45pm<b>star14394</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:42am<b>Undecided_Jesus</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 5:40pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 1:26pm<b>mrlawlor777</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 6:11pm<b>davlosthisid42</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:57pm<b>tabertooth</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 4:14pm<b>jasonmar</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 9:04am<b>sexymothafucka</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 10:03am<b>Sinlessgore</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 1:19am<b>harry2hopes</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 3:56pm<b>stevenJB</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 11:30am<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 3:24pm<b>samcgee</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 3:34am

cparrenas's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

cparrenas's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18732) - you deserved it (6667)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18113) - you deserved it (50101)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15111) - you deserved it (34951)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (45986)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
166 comments

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (4214) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

#19826088
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6241) - you deserved it (31989)

On 06/21/2012 at 9:28pm - love - by a stupid jackass (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (5302)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41120) - you deserved it (3412)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML

#16116610
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43230) - you deserved it (5436) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/10/2011 at 10:56am - kids - by Hahapasdroleleptit - France

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19259) - you deserved it (65819)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML

#14142147
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (10327)

On 12/09/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by katy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39502) - you deserved it (2758)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7921) - you deserved it (30229)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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