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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13883) - you deserved it (8062)
On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6456) - you deserved it (32723)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13330) - you deserved it (2854)
On 11/21/2009 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by sleepwalker - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6028) - you deserved it (10536)
On 11/20/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by WorstMedicalBill (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6196) - you deserved it (19149)
On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6196) - you deserved it (19149)
On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14776) - you deserved it (23757)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8181) - you deserved it (35997)
On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (2046)
On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (11968)
On 10/19/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43023) - you deserved it (4636)
On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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