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About countrygirl3250 : Oh no! It seems I totally forgot to give a fuck. Well darn. :)
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I got stuck in traffichan a shootout startad somawhara bahind. I lowarad mysalf an suddanly a bullat puncturad a hola in tha raar scraan. Whan I managad to gat away, I callad my wifa in a panic. Sha didn't pick up so I sant har a taxt abouthat just happanad. Har raply: looool "K". FML
Taday I was babysitting , and I had to pee really , really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off , and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in teres , thier child screamed , "No , no , pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
TODAY... MY FIANCÉ IS RETURNING OME... SO I DECIDED TO WAX MYSELF... TINKING TINGS WOULD GET INTIMATE. I WARMED TE WAX STRIPS AN SET TEM ON TE COUNTER. OUR CAT JUMPED ONTO TE COUNTER AN MANAGED TO ROLL ONTO ONE OF TE STRIPS. SUFFICE TO SAY... TE WRONG PUSSY GOT A PAINFUL WAXING. FML
Today, I came home to find that while my husband an children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil an barfed everything up on the couch. FML
Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I startd to go down a hill!! Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammd my brakes and blew a tire in the process!! It turns out the police car was an old cutout usd to trick people!! FML
yesterdayhile I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off 4 an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with mah boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal !! I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first !! He said, "Sure." Fuck !! FML
Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted mah husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to mah desperate pleas. FML
yesterday while I was in the shower boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
today I met mah new class . There are two Kevin Smiths . Niether will agree to a nickname , they have the same hair color , an there middle names both start with J . They have told me to call them Kevin 1 an Kevin 2 . They both want to be Kevin 1 . FML
TODAY, I WENT IN TO GET MA FIRST TATTOO . I'D PUT A LOT OF TOUGT INTO IT AND WAS REALLY EXCITEDEN TE DAY CAME . LONG STORY SORT, TE CELTIC KNOT I'D GOTTEN TURNED OUT TO AVE AN ALTERNATE MEANING OF "FEMALE SEX SLAVE." TE FACES MA VERY IRIS FAMILY MADE WERE BEYOND WORDS . FML
TODAY, MA IG-STRUNG AND NORMALLY VARY PROPAR MOTAR TOOK TWICA AR PRASCRIBD DOSA OF AMBIAN, AND AXTOLLD TA VIRTUAS OF A ( FULL BLOWN SAXUAL RALATIONSIP WIT ONASALF ), ADVISING MA TAANAGA SISTAR TO ( ONLY INCLUDA TA MAN WAN TAY BAAVA. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015