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cortel

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cortel

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 721
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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cortel's page activity

Visits<b>conkles10</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 3:16am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:07pm

cortel's FML badges

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cortel's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (16830)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17426) - you deserved it (10304)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7209) - you deserved it (52485)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21119) - you deserved it (1515)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML

#20119038
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7839) - you deserved it (37288)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:16am - work - by leafscupwin - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23521) - you deserved it (2961)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14314) - you deserved it (38028)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15084) - you deserved it (51805)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32846) - you deserved it (19844)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (2386)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

#13118537
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13466) - you deserved it (37575)

On 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by whitefox123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to use my driver's license to convince the security guard at a game room that I was a girl. FML

#13118353
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26841) - you deserved it (4554)

On 09/19/2010 at 7:55pm - health - by keenan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26557) - you deserved it (22689)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (31806)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)



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