About coolname2016 : I like music, playing my violin, reading, and playing video games
coolname2016's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
coolname2016's favorite FMLs
by scooter922 / 07/15/2012 at 3:45am / United States (Maryland) / Health
by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health
Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
by ihatewalmart / 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm / United States / Kids
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
by cmck932012 / 06/26/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML
by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 9:11am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by blah56 / 06/23/2012 at 1:17am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Uncomfy / 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
by ExplosiveDildo / 06/22/2012 at 9:08am / Afghanistan / Geek
Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML
by me / 06/22/2012 at 3:28am / United States (Indiana) / Work
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML
by Tinkerer / 08/21/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML
by BigmouthStrikesAgain / 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Animals
- Today, as an overprotective mother, I asked my 19 year-old son, who was going to spend his day on… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or…