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conra1331

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conra1331

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  • Number of visits : 95
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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conra1331's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (5862)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30943) - you deserved it (18136)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

#20107826
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7831) - you deserved it (34489)

On 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37932) - you deserved it (2199)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the store with my grandpa. When we were rung up, he started to pay for our myriad groceries in coins, and the guy behind us groaned. My grandpa said, "shut your mouth," and started ranting about how stupid people are to leave paper trails for "government spooks." FML

#20006151
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17211) - you deserved it (1767)

On 08/06/2012 at 5:37pm - money - by for fucks sake gramps (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25417) - you deserved it (2952)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10717) - you deserved it (36830)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

#18425856
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (9995)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26750) - you deserved it (2796)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I discovered my sister has a crystal meth problem when she set fire to our house. FML

#18198070
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33312) - you deserved it (2257)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43714) - you deserved it (3333)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (3095)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally went to my boyfriend's house to meet his family. When they were giving me a tour of the house, I noticed a Nazi flag on my boyfriend's bedroom door. FML

#17427726
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36116) - you deserved it (4509)

On 08/10/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by MaydayManic - United States

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41439) - you deserved it (3674)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35073) - you deserved it (4845)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)



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