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comparedmidget

Offline (the 03/16/2015 at 2:20am) | Search for a member

comparedmidget

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 434
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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comparedmidget's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of comparedmidget's badges

comparedmidget's favorite FMLs

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

#20858539
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (2612)

On 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm - love - by marryinghimanyway (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

#20790299
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45889) - you deserved it (2819)

On 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by dirtythief (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

#20752290
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53365) - you deserved it (3812)

On 06/28/2013 at 11:51am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25641) - you deserved it (32340)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49350) - you deserved it (10409)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39941) - you deserved it (2635)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53663) - you deserved it (4066)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

#20685944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45415) - you deserved it (4551)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49142) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

#20653026
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55023) - you deserved it (6927)

On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64167) - you deserved it (14097)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

#20634407
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52488) - you deserved it (4425)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -



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