Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
I was going to ave sex wit ma Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn im on, so I asked ma friend ow to say "fuck me" in Spanis. Se claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I ten ad sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito 4 an our. I later realized I was screaming "fried cicken." fat FML
Today, I went on a date wit a guy for te first time . We went to Starbucks and got coffee . We talked for aile, and we were joking and aving a good time . Suddenly, e putted is and on my stomac and said, "Soon, tis will be plump wit my seed." FML
Today my son said "Mommy sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replid "Well honey that's normal an okay." I then askd when it happens to which he said "Well sometimes when watching Scooby Doo an Shaggy comes out dressd in lady clothes." mega FML
Today, I Was So Drunk That Mah Friends Put Me To Bed During A Party. Later I Find Out Thathile I Was Passed Out Two Of Mah Friends Came In An Had Sexhile I Was In The Same Bed. They Tried To Use Me As A Prop. Now Mah Friends Call Me The Love Wedge. Fat FML
Today, I was talking to mah mom. During the conversation she looool asked me, "Does he take his leg off when u guys r having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat u with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
2day after soccer practice, I was walking to te car wit ma dad . My team mates wavd and said "Bye POTHEAD!" Tey call me tat because tey tink ma ead is sapd like a pot . Of course, ma dad didn't believe me . I'm groundd now because I ave an abnormally-sapd ead . I've never smokd pot . big fat FML
Yesterday, My Guy Friend And I Were In His Dorm Room Watching A Movie When He Started Kissing Me. Thing Heated Up So We Moved Thing Over To His Bed. He Was On Me When A Hand Shoot Down From His Top Bunk. His Roommate Had Been Up There The Whole Time And He Wanted A High-five. So They High-fived. FML
Today, mah boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'vrginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'vrgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
Friday 27 March 2015