comedybreak

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Offline (the 03/19/2016 at 12:33am)

comedybreak

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 July 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6198
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 47 posted

About comedybreak : #Yolo

comedybreak's page activity

Visits<b>ODIOSS</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 9:31pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 5:46pm<b>SuperNova849</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 11:01pm<b>NoahK2003</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 7:18am<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 6:48am<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 3:13am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 3:02am<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:04am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 11:15am<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 11:03am<b>sugerpop2</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 1:45am<b>CougeeSwagg</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:52pm<b>Vikton0101</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 10:29pm<b>Dodgejeeptrucks</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 8:02pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 3:22am<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 12:08am<b>usbutuk</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:58am<b>Farklez</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 6:06pm

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 9:23am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:02am<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:19am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:22am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:29pm

comedybreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of comedybreak's badges

comedybreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

by jeanrose2013 / 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

by yarhyun1 / 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm / United States / Love

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

by wow, thanks / 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

by ice cream dude / 08/10/2012 at 9:58am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

by mike h / 08/10/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

by Goblin Girl / 08/01/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

by sozzy / 07/07/2012 at 3:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

by idontgetit / 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

by cloudberry / 05/27/2012 at 4:00am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous