Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

comedybreak

Search for a member

comedybreak
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1637
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 43 posted

About comedybreak : I've been on FML for 4+ years now, and comment very rarely.

comedybreak's last visitors

insomniacdreamerMetalManiacHappyVersthawkeyepeirceIwtumnUndecided_Jesusalexmac222therosalinawopchop12noobly28

comedybreak's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of comedybreak's badges

comedybreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

#19786572
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28525) - you deserved it (3518)

On 06/14/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by anonymous - China (Jiangsu)

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

#19778453
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9309) - you deserved it (23686)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14931) - you deserved it (37858)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16923) - you deserved it (1564)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34778) - you deserved it (4742)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19604) - you deserved it (4281)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML

#19628029
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24239) - you deserved it (3016)

On 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm - love - by waste of effort (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML

#19620851
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15258) - you deserved it (1284)

On 05/14/2012 at 3:37am - misc - by AmatureLitCritic - United States (Oregon)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22350) - you deserved it (3368)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML

#19603153
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25078) - you deserved it (7540)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

#19601611
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (3445)

On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I got off the bus, I saw a girl counting her change making sure she had enough for the ride. Since it was my last stop for the day, I offered my day pass to her. She replied, "Get away, freak." FML

#19597071
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26521) - you deserved it (2183)

On 05/09/2012 at 10:40am - misc - by calidreaming - Japan (Osaka)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25050) - you deserved it (2108)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML

#19588990
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (3513)

On 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by coffeeshopgirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43843) - you deserved it (8536)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: