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comedybreak

Offline (the 05/26/2015 at 7:47am) | Search for a member

comedybreak

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 July 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4468
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 47 posted

About comedybreak : #Yolo

comedybreak's page activity

Visits<b>DUBSTEPER98</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 7:48pm<b>2nd</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:27am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:55am<b>seholland</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 11:21pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 7:19pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:47pm<b>Phantomisr</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:37am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:51am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:11pm<b>pam241</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:17am<b>dillonfi</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 8:58pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:39pm<b>constipation</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:44pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:01am<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:48am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:25am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:02am<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:19am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:22am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:29pm

comedybreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of comedybreak's badges

comedybreak's favorite FMLs

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

#20543527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41930) - you deserved it (10183)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40205) - you deserved it (2493)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43250) - you deserved it (4005)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32655) - you deserved it (2594)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (3864)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

#20536593
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50550) - you deserved it (3563)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML

#20536129
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38729) - you deserved it (9020)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by marriage/celibacy/synonymity (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you deserved it (13399)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38674) - you deserved it (2968)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (3447)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

#20526945
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29774) - you deserved it (2586)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (2765)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33911) - you deserved it (4191)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (3619)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33377) - you deserved it (3633)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States



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