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comedybreak

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comedybreak

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3441
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 47 posted

About comedybreak : #Yolo

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Liked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:22am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:29pm

comedybreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of comedybreak's badges

comedybreak's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (3850)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

#20536593
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48471) - you deserved it (3395)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML

#20536129
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37034) - you deserved it (8790)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by marriage/celibacy/synonymity (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (12674)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38506) - you deserved it (2957)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32964) - you deserved it (3437)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

#20526945
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (2378)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31950) - you deserved it (2752)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32244) - you deserved it (4040)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30899) - you deserved it (3415)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply: "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML

#20512366
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11082) - you deserved it (41057)

On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

#20499258
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41170) - you deserved it (5312)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57645) - you deserved it (10902)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52860) - you deserved it (3425)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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