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comedybreak

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comedybreak
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1639
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 43 posted

About comedybreak : I've been on FML for 4+ years now, and comment very rarely.

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comedybreak's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

#20526945
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22791) - you deserved it (1563)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (2495)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (2936)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26999) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29215) - you deserved it (3232)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply: "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML

#20512366
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9039) - you deserved it (30117)

On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

#20499258
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38290) - you deserved it (4995)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54547) - you deserved it (10199)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48979) - you deserved it (3164)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28601) - you deserved it (8012)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43824) - you deserved it (7002)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35365) - you deserved it (6614)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (5046)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10624) - you deserved it (38787)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47076) - you deserved it (4165)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)



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