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About colourmealy : :)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (15285)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54825) - you deserved it (5560)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31617) - you deserved it (7003)
On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)
Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20226) - you deserved it (1279)
On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18639) - you deserved it (4874)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16981) - you deserved it (9627)
On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16747) - you deserved it (39909)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (17216)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:03am - health - by NoPainNoGain (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49947) - you deserved it (17805)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (60641) - you deserved it (16265)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (268244) - you deserved it (24536)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
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