cold

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cold

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3277
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cold's page activity

Visits<b>username666</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 12:47am

cold's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cold's favorite FMLs

Today, I checked facebook, only to find out that my close cousin is now married. When I looked at the pictures, I saw that my whole family was there - including my sister, mother and father. I was the only one who wasn't invited. FML

by Oh_baby / 06/10/2009 at 1:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

by superman_not / 06/10/2009 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Miscellaneous

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 1:40am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

by happybirthday / 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

by thisreallysucks2 / 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

by liz1234 / 03/22/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

by GracelandDave / 03/19/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

by lemonjuice / 03/18/2009 at 2:22am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML

by goddamitme / 02/21/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML

by Kev / 02/19/2009 at 6:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldnt fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

by sucks2suck / 02/19/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous