coffee_man900

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Offline (the 07/15/2014 at 6:03am)

coffee_man900

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 701
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About coffee_man900 : Maybe not. :)

coffee_man900's page activity

Visits<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 8:21pm<b>JimonSern</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:12am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:52pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:29am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:59am<b>photochick77</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 10:45am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 11:22pm<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 08/20/2012 at 8:50pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/19/2012 at 7:19am<b>Jaggedrage</b> - the 05/13/2012 at 6:13am<b>Pure_Magic</b> - the 04/15/2012 at 10:46pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 03/31/2012 at 3:37am

coffee_man900's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of coffee_man900's badges

coffee_man900's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML

by unacceptable / 06/04/2012 at 11:02am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

by boohoo / 06/04/2012 at 8:45am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

by nanall / 06/04/2012 at 3:19am / United States / Kids

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

by Apissedoffguy / 06/03/2012 at 11:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML

by Grrrawrwtf / 06/03/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Money

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

by lol112 / 06/02/2012 at 8:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

by Briscuit / 06/01/2012 at 5:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm / Greece (Attiki) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my reflection in the computer screen and I thought I looked quite nice. I tried to take a screenshot. FML

by Mikaela / 05/31/2012 at 11:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

by Getmeout / 05/31/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

by Aldoch / 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm / Kids

Today, a kid I taught to swim became my new boss, at the pool that I have worked at for nine years. FML

by chlorinesmells / 05/30/2012 at 9:51am / United States / Work