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coffee_man900

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coffee_man900
  • Town/Country : Newcastle, Ontario, Canada eh?
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 429
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About coffee_man900 : Maybe not. :)

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coffee_man900's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of coffee_man900's badges

coffee_man900's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (2608)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

#19732983
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35725) - you deserved it (2073)

On 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML

#19732110
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17250) - you deserved it (1697)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:02am - misc - by unacceptable (woman) - Australia

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

#19731681
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11956) - you deserved it (15436)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:45am - love - by boohoo (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

#19731019
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20956) - you deserved it (2909)

On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

#19726144
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26316) - you deserved it (1991)

On 06/03/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Apissedoffguy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML

#19724259
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23434) - you deserved it (1939)

On 06/03/2012 at 12:25am - money - by Grrrawrwtf - United States

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

#19719938
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20266) - you deserved it (4426)

On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13594) - you deserved it (26601)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (2319)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I saw my reflection in the computer screen and I thought I looked quite nice. I tried to take a screenshot. FML

#19712895
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5642) - you deserved it (24619)

On 05/31/2012 at 11:25pm - misc - by Mikaela - United States

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

#19708258
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (4701)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a kid I taught to swim became my new boss, at the pool that I have worked at for nine years. FML

#19703809
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20945) - you deserved it (2926)

On 05/30/2012 at 9:51am - work - by chlorinesmells - United States



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