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coffee_man900

Offline (the 07/15/2014 at 6:03am) | Search for a member

coffee_man900

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 511
  • Number of comments : 112
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About coffee_man900 : Maybe not. :)

coffee_man900's page activity

Visits<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:29am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:59am<b>photochick77</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 10:45am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 11:22pm<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 08/20/2012 at 8:50pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/19/2012 at 7:19am<b>Jaggedrage</b> - the 05/13/2012 at 6:13am<b>Pure_Magic</b> - the 04/15/2012 at 10:46pm<b>schrbj</b> - the 03/31/2012 at 1:51pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 03/31/2012 at 3:37am

coffee_man900's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of coffee_man900's badges

coffee_man900's favorite FMLs

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (6204)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

#20024180
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (1200)

On 08/16/2012 at 8:10am - misc - by mdp624 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML

#20022923
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20786) - you deserved it (3690)

On 08/15/2012 at 5:14pm - misc - by ShowerStar (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML

#19946274
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (6741)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm - kids - by trisha (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18345) - you deserved it (4400)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (4178)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (2405)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

#19787758
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29275) - you deserved it (7828)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

#19786918
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (5478)

On 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Sir Vom-a-lot (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22323) - you deserved it (2001)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

#19783803
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10472) - you deserved it (30169)

On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26016) - you deserved it (15490)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got a bikini wax. They said it wouldn't hurt too badly, and that it would just sting. My friend heard me screaming from all the way down the hall in the waiting room. FML

#19739055
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10973) - you deserved it (16922)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:42pm - misc - by higgles15 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (3068)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend. There's a short cut to my house by jumping a fence but he insisted that we take the long way because, "Girls don't jump fences." To prove him wrong, I jumped the fence. I fell and broke my leg. FML

#19736347
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14134) - you deserved it (31107)

On 06/05/2012 at 12:27am - love - by Josie - United States (Kentucky)



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