Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

codisimus

Search for a member

codisimus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1125
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

codisimus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

codisimus's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

#12239947
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (6286)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Nuttree (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22896) - you deserved it (29159)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (15225)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31734) - you deserved it (4633)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12628) - you deserved it (113135)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35549) - you deserved it (15284)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25051) - you deserved it (49127)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12588) - you deserved it (43865)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38272) - you deserved it (3760)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97998) - you deserved it (5652)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22096) - you deserved it (42872)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

#11911406
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20138) - you deserved it (43164)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49878) - you deserved it (4165)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (43485)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

#11849273
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17115) - you deserved it (25947)

On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: