Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

codisimus

Search for a member

codisimus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1093
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

codisimus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

codisimus's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

#12894056
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37341) - you deserved it (3055)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by mandy16 (woman) -

Today, my roommate informed me that he took a bet to not shower or bathe until Christmas. The bet is for five bucks. FML

#12890603
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (2325)

On 09/03/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by stink (man) -

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31987) - you deserved it (7732)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. I was applying some makeup when I noticed a little boy watching me. When I was finished I heard him whisper to his mom, "I thought make up was supposed to make you pretty." FML

#12835808
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (6063)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by ugly - United States

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39398) - you deserved it (14829)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

#12812142
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18234) - you deserved it (6385)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30920) - you deserved it (6673)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

#12800426
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32979) - you deserved it (14164)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33308) - you deserved it (14145)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

#12750103
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13782) - you deserved it (49570)

On 08/26/2010 at 1:33am - animals - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

#12748631
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26274) - you deserved it (5256)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by devigsgirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

#12740190
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14635) - you deserved it (62822)

On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

#12726945
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33719) - you deserved it (4475)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm - animals - by vstan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how sweetly the main character on my favorite tv show proposed to his girlfriend. He told me to hang on a second, and later forgot about me while he told his brother about the hot blonde he slept with last night. FML

#12673402
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (5799)

On 08/21/2010 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by jessiegirl - United States (Illinois)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: